sick?

i'm so sick
sick physically...physchologically...mentally
i am tired, so tired of my life right now
yes i mean LIFE
i have been thinking a lot recently...i know, this has been my bad habit to screw myself with my nonsense thinking
why is everything seems so complicated for me?
perhaps i'm making things complicated for myself?
i just want a very simple life...a very simple one with nothing much to worry about.

i'm taking a fascinating subject where i learn about those unseen worlds & spirits
u know what, i wish i could be in the unseen dimension forever & never come back again
perhaps the life that i would have over there is not the one i'm hoping for...but i don't care i just wanna take a forever break from everything around me right now
u can say that i am selfish...yes i am
Forgive me, i'm just being too tired
Obviously, i am not as strong as u thought
Someone ever told me that i possess a kind of "killing-silence", & it eventually forms a brick wall around me, which acts as a barrier for others to get anywhere nearer to my true-self.
Well, my silence, & the cold-outer-shell i have....are just something that could protect my inner-self, my inner-self that can be thorn apart easily.

can i call u?
...& tell u that i am indeed faking myself when i say i'm doing super-great over here?
...can i tell u that i am really tired?...though u never knew i would be so weak
...& can i tell u that i am missing u?...coz i never did before
...can i pour down all my tears?...just for once?
would u cry?..when u hear me crying?

-i knew all d answers in my heart-
still, i am asking these again & again to myself